


Scattered

by yamsfreckles



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, M/M, Overstimulation, Supportive Boyfriend Hinata, Verbal Comprehension Issues, auditory processing issues, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 01:04:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8823853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yamsfreckles/pseuds/yamsfreckles
Summary: "But it seemed the harder he tried to focus, the less he understood. The words were starting to go in one ear and out the other. He tried to force them to find purchase and meaning but he was quickly losing the thread of the conversation. His brain was too scattered and he felt his eyes prick in frustration. Why couldn’t he just understand?"-Or-Goshiki struggles with verbal comprehension issues and Hinata is a supportive boyfriend





	

**Author's Note:**

> Have I ever told anybody how much I love Goshiki Tsutomu? Because, holy shit I do. 
> 
> This is just a dumb vent fic I wrote because I was feeling down and I also wanted to write some GoshiHina because that ship is so pure and good ;~;
> 
> This is unbeta'd so I apologize for any and all mistakes I may have made

_Focus. Focus. Find the meaning._

Goshiki sighed, frustrated, leaning forward and covering his ears with his hands, earning a slight glare from the girl sitting next to him who was busy taking notes. The auditorium was too big, too loud, and he was too far away from the professor to ever hope to understand the lecture. He glared at the notebook page on his desk, completely empty despite the fact that the lecture was almost over. It was only the second week of classes and he knew it was only going to get worse from there.

_Why can’t I just understand?_

He could hear fine; that wasn’t the issue. He heard every word the professor said, but whenever he tried to comprehend the words and find meaning in them, something went wrong. His brain just couldn’t keep up.

The students around him all started packing up their stuff and leaving, and Goshiki clenched his teeth tightly, angry at himself because he even missed the professor’s dismissal.

He sighed again, lowering his hands and lifting his head, starting slightly when he realized Hinata was standing next to his desk. He allowed himself a small smile at seeing his boyfriend, though it was wiped away quickly when he noticed the worried expression on the smaller boy’s face.

“How did you do today, Tsutomu?” he asked, softly.

Goshiki shrugged and looked down, embarrassed. Hinata already knew anyway. It’s not like he needed to answer.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see one of Hinata’s blinding grins. “That’s okay!” he assured. “We can go over the lecture when we get back to the dorm tonight. It’ll be good for me to review anyway!”

Goshiki couldn’t help a timid smile. Everything about Hinata was genuine and he knew that he really meant his words. It was one of the things that had drawn Goshiki to his roommate in the first place.

He quickly packed up his stuff and the two made their way out of the auditorium. Hinata didn’t try to talk to him as they walked through the lecture hall – probably knowing that with all the hustle and bustle of students changing classes Goshiki would have a hard time understanding him anyway – but as soon as they exited the building, he linked their hands together and started babbling inanely about his day.

Goshiki nodded along, smiling at his boyfriend’s antics and laughing in all the appropriate places. Every once in a while Hinata would squeeze his hand as a silent question and he would squeeze once back to let him know he was following the conversation. He rarely struggled when it was just the two of them.

“You know,” Hinata said casually, “It might not hurt to talk to the professor about switching seats or something. If you explained the situation to him I’m sure he would move you closer or maybe even sit you by me so I could help you. You didn’t have a big lecture class like this last semester so it’s no surprise you’re struggling.”

The thought of asking for special favors made Goshiki cringe, even if he knew that this semester would be hell if he didn’t. “I can write him an email I guess,” he said without enthusiasm.

Hinata bumped him playfully with his hip. “It’ll be okay,” he encouraged.

Goshiki bumped Hinata back, smiling in spite of himself. Hinata always had such a calming effect on him. “Let’s just get to volleyball practice, you dork.”

Volleyball had always been a reprieve for Goshiki. It was loud and jumbled and disorienting and there were too many people and too much going on and he couldn’t understand. But it didn’t upset him because he didn’t _need_ to understand. He didn’t have to focus on words when he was on the court. As long as he could keep his eye on the ball and watch for signals from the setter, the words could wash past him all they wanted. He mind could focus in a way that was completely different than how he normally tried to make it focus. And he loved it.

*****

Practice had gone well, Goshiki’s practice team winning against Hinata’s in the final set, much to the shorter boy’s dismay. “I’ll win next time for sure,” Hinata assured him while they were changing.

“Oi, Goshiki, Hinata! We’re going to go get some meat buns if you guys want to come,” one of their senpais called from across the changing room.

Hinata’s face lit up for a second, and Goshiki remembered how much the former liked meat buns. He also knew that Hinata would refuse for his sake. They never went out anywhere with the team because group conversations were incredibly hard for Goshiki to follow along with and Hinata didn’t like to put him in that position. But Goshiki could see how much Hinata really wanted to go and he was so tired of being a burden.

“Sure, we’ll go,” he responded before Hinata could. The latter looked at him questioningly and Goshiki shrugged in response. “It’ll be fun,” he said, though he could tell Hinata didn’t buy it. He grabbed his boyfriend’s hand and moved to follow their senpais out of the changing room before he could be questioned about it.

The group crossed the quiet quad quickly. It was Friday evening and most students were done with classes for the week. They arrived at one of the many small convenient stores that littered campus, standing outside while the captain went inside to buy the treats.

Hinata’s face lit up when their captain presented them each with their bun and he thanked the older boy profusely before digging in.

Goshiki smiled at him fondly, chewing on his slowly. The other team members were standing around talking but he was unimportant enough that he could fly under their radar for the most part. He wasn’t even a regular yet, though his coach had told him it probably wouldn’t be long if he kept working as hard as he did. He was on second string this semester and he was proud of that, considering some of his senpais weren’t even on the bench.

“Goshiki?”

He started at the sound of his name and looked at the senpai that had addressed him. He was lost but he couldn’t even blame it on his comprehension issues. He just hadn’t been paying attention. “I’m sorry, what?” he asked.

“I asked what high school you went to,” his senpai repeated, not unkindly.

“Oh. Shiratorizawa Academy in Miyagi,” he answered quickly.

“Wow! That’s a powerhouse school, isn’t it?” another teammate asked.

Goshiki nodded slowly, hoping they would go back to ignoring him. He sort of got his wish. The team started talking animatedly about other powerhouse schools from different prefectures. Though they weren’t completely shutting Goshiki out of the conversation like he would have preferred they weren’t actively expecting him to contribute either. He understood maybe half of what was being said.

Hinata squeezed his hand softly. Goshiki thought for a moment before squeezing Hinata’s hand twice. Nothing to panic about yet.

_Just focus._

But it seemed the harder he tried to focus, the less he understood. The words were starting to go in one ear and out the other. He tried to force them to find purchase and meaning but he was quickly losing the thread of the conversation. His brain was too scattered and he felt his eyes prick in frustration. Why couldn’t he just understand?

He quickly squeezed Hinata’s hand three times, shame burning in his throat. He wanted to get out of there before he was expected to say anything again. He didn’t even know what they were talking about anymore. He heard Hinata speak, though he didn’t know what he was saying. He was sure it was an excuse to leave, though. His teammates waved at them and Hinata started pulling him in the direction of their dorm.

Neither of them said anything as they made their way across campus. A single tear escaped Goshiki’s eye and he wiped at it furiously with his free hand.

He felt Hinata squeeze his hand, slightly longer than usual. This wasn’t a question, it was reassurance.

When they entered their room Goshiki immediately released Hinata’s hand and crawled into their bed (really it was two separate twin beds that they had pushed together a while after they started dating) and pulled the covers over his head.

He could hear Hinata shuffling around the room, putting their stuff away before he felt the bed dip and Hinata worm his way under the covers to join Goshiki.

He didn’t say anything, just lay there with him in reassuring silence.

Goshiki finally sighed. “I’m sorry, Shou,” he whispered.

“For what?” Hinata inquired, cuddling closer to Goshiki.

“For being a burden I guess?” Goshiki sniffled. “Because you have to give up a lot for me because I’m so stupid.”

A noise of protest left Hinata’s throat as he sat up, displacing the covers. “What do you mean?” he asked, a slight edge to his voice. “You don’t really think you’re stupid, do you?”

Goshiki sat up too, but didn’t meet Hinata’s eyes. “Of course I am. It’s obvious really,” he argued.

It was silent for a heartbeat before Hinata gripped Goshiki’s shoulders, and forced the latter to look at him. There was an intensity in his eyes that Goshiki didn’t often see off the court. “You are not stupid, Tsutomu,” he insisted. “Please don’t ever think that. You are one of the smartest people I know.”

Goshiki swallowed thickly. He knew Hinata was being authentic but he didn’t understand how he could think that.

Hinata continued before he could ask though. “Just because you struggle with understanding verbal words in group settings doesn’t mean you’re dumb, okay?” he said with conviction. “That’s like saying someone with dyslexia is dumb just because they struggle reading. Everybody has different strengths and weaknesses. You never forget anything you read and you have amazing intuition and game sense on the court. And you are fantastic at one-on-one conversations. Sometimes you just have to find workarounds for things you struggle with. Like we do,” he finished, smiling happily and taking Goshiki’s hand in his and squeezing, reminding him of their code.

Goshiki’s throat felt tight and a couple more tears slid down his cheek as he looked at their entwined fingers. “I just wish you didn’t have to give up so much for me,” he murmured, squeezing back.

“Huh?” Hinata asked, confused. “What am I giving up?”

Goshiki glanced at Hinata’s face, and the shorter boy looked genuinely confused, brows furrowing and pulling together and head tilting to the side.

“Being around people, I guess,” Goshiki said, running his free hand through his hair in frustration. “You’re such a social person but you’re constantly having to turn down offers to hang out and do things with others because of me and I hate that.”

Hinata’s confused expression melted into one of understanding before he smiled softly. “I don’t feel like I’m giving anything up,” he said, absentmindedly tracing his thumb over the back of Goshiki’s hand as he spoke. “I still have lots of friends that I’m able to talk to. I only ever turn down offers to hang out with others because I’d rather hang out with you,” he admitted, blushing slightly.

Gratitude and affection swelled in Goshiki’s chest and before any more tears could escape he buried his face in Hinata’s shoulder, pressing a quick kiss to the smaller boy’s neck making him giggle.

He felt a soft hand in his hair and he sighed contentedly as Hinata’s fingers massaged his scalp.

“Do you wanna go over today’s lecture?” the shorter boy asked after a few minutes.

Goshiki shook his head, hand tightening on Hinata’s as he snuggled closer to his boyfriend. “Later,” he murmured, not willing to let go just yet.

Hinata chuckled and shifted so they were laying down again. “I love you, Tsutomu,” he confessed.

Goshiki’s heart rate sped up and he grinned against Hinata’s neck, glad the latter couldn’t see his blush. “I love you too, Shou.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to come say hi to me! yamsfreckles.tumblr.com :D


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